Last night while I innocently watched TV with a purring kitten on my ample chest, said kitten stalked and bested my fragile eyeball.
With my cornea flapping this morning (well, it felt like it), I headed to the ER in at the advice of the doc's office. The hospital in the big town (pop. 8,000) 20 miles away is medical technology central for this big rural area.
Less than a minute after walking into the ER, we were being checked in, a few minutes later we were in a room. The doctor was friendly and personable and talked the kids through everything. He numbed my eye, put yellow dye in it, then turned off the lights and showed the kids what it looked like with the black light. Then he looked through the microscope (another cool lesson), and showed me on paper the jagged vertical line scratching the surface of my cornea from upper center iris to the just inside the constricted pupil. Meanwhile, Marian drew and colored a picture of what my eye looked like under black light, Sophie drew a picture of "Blind Momma", and Leo watched everything. They enjoyed watching me get a tetanus shot, and the nurse enjoyed watching the kids.
The eye should be better in a couple of days, following antibiotic eyedrops every few hours, 600mg ibuprofen every 6 hours, and my repeated thoughts of the vicodin prescription I turned down. I'm not wearing the eye patch because it sucks in countless ways. No night driving until I'm healed, because darkness will cause my pupil to expand further into the injured area, which will increase the blurriness of my vision. Since light shining in my eye hurts, I get the lovely choice of pain or major blur. Except when I have both and am spared the choice.
Doc says TV is better than reading or computer for my eye, so I'm not here right now and you're imagining all of this. Get help.
The evil hideous beast who committed this atrocious act:
Isn't she cute? She's sitting on my lap right now.
I forgive her.