Sunday, December 3, 2006

Ogre Lunch

I made a big batch of split pea soup the other day and the kids are sick of it, but we have to eat it up. So I put a spin on it for lunch today. The soup is now ogre mush, the broccoli are swamp trees, and the green rice is bug larvae. And thay are all drinking bug juice (water) out of green cups.

The kids are done up with green face paint and fingernail polish, and are ogres eating their ogre lunch, and as we've talked about, ogres eat a LOT and have VERY bad table manners. So the kids are having a blast eating with their fingers, pretending to belch and fart, talking with their mouths full, and generally being gross.

And after this, the split pea soup willl be GONE! Gotta love innovative parenting.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Invisible Tattoo

There is an invisible tattoo on my right forearm. I can't wait to have an artist uncover it for me. :)

Monday, January 23, 2006

My job

I am so lucky. I worked a 5-hour shift last night and that's what it took to get me over the newbie hump. I'm comfortable and happy with my job, and I even got glowing feedback on a test call last night (where the supervisors pretend to be cutomers and don't tell you til the end of the call). She said she didn't even have any coaching tips for me, because I did so awesome. :) I like talking to people from all over--the sweet lady in the Bronx, the friendy drawling Texans, the uptight Canadian guy, the embarassed Tennessee dude ordering the party girls video.

I love my job.

Happy Anniversary to Me

I've been a single mom for one year today.

I love, love, love, LOVE my life! I love homeschooling my kids, I love my job, I love my community, I love my gym membership, I love my car, I love my house, I lovc it all. I love my life.

Monday, January 9, 2006

Score: Me-1, Compulsive Eating-0

Saturday afternoon I happily told a good friend how well my previously ailing mom was doing. Not an hour later, my sister called to tell me that Mom had fallen unconscious and was in the emergency room. 1500 miles away from me. I immediately wanted to eat something. Anything. I stopped myself, asking:

"What do you really feel?"

"I'm scared I'll never see her again."

And then I cried. And I cried, and cried, and cried. And I'm crying now, writing this.

I don't cry often. But I have been known to eat a lot. A month ago, with similar news, I ate and didn't cry. Today I cried and didn't eat.
When my kids are upset, I tell them to let the tears out, because they hurt a lot less once they're outside than they do on the inside. Perhaps if I follow my own advice, I won't have to pile food on top of the hurt to dull the pain.

I get it.

Why I want to get fit

I have no delusions about losing weight. I don't expect to find some inner happiness just from shedding pounds, or to suddenly be overwhelmed with a dating life (which I don't want right now anyway). But I think it's important for all of us to write down some concrete reasons we want to get fit, to visualize ourselves at our goal fitness levels and see what we love about it. Write up a list and post it on your fridge and pantry, and read it everytime you get non-hungry munchies.

Reasons I Want To Get Fit

1. I want to set a good example for my children.
2. I want to be comfortable in any seat, anywhere.
3. I want to have more energy.
4. I want to be more comfortable in my car.
5. I want my narrow kitchen to feel bigger.
6. I want to be able to wear my favorite clothes.
7. I want to look better in my clothes.
8. I want to look better out of my clothes.
9. I want to be comfortable getting my picture taken from angles other than above.
10. I want to save money on food.
11. I want to save money on my health.
12. I want to be comfortable teaching yoga, without fear of being judged before I even start.
13. I want to run around with the kids more, and not be sitting on the sidelines.
14. I want to feel strong.
15. I want to feel comfortable in my skin all the time.

Giant Yoga Boobs

Today I had an interesting conversation with my almost 6-year-old daughter.

Her: "Momma, when I'm nineteen, can I move away on my own?"

Me: "Sure, honey, if you want to."

Her: "When I'm ninteen, I'll have BOOBS!"

Me: "You're probably right."

Her: "What if they're so big they go all the way across town?"

Me: "Wow. Those would be big! How would you ride in a car? I guess you could roll them up and put them in the passenger seat."

Her: hysterical laughter followed by "Oh, Momma, if my boobs were that big it would be really hard to do yoga!"

Thus ends the giant boob dream.

55 Reasons I Love Being A Single Mom

Why I Love Being a Single Mom of Three

1. I can parent however I want.
2. I can watch whatever movies I want.
3. No adults yell at me in my own home.
4. I don’t have to cater to an adult who is a pickier eater than any of my three children.
5. I never have to watch sports.
6. I don’t have to stop normal life to prepare for the 5pm arrival of Him.
7. The king-size bed is plenty big for all four of us when they all pile in.
8. I feel so empowered knowing that I replaced the broken phone jack, lit the pilot light on the water heater, hung the shelves, got the kitchen window to close, etc, etc, etc. Installing a light fixture is next on my list. :)
9. Nobody thinks my beliefs are dumb.
10. My kids know that girls can use tools and fix things, too.
11. My kids aren’t seeing a poor example of what a marriage (theoretically) can be.
12. I never have to listen to AC/DC.
13. I never have to suck in my stomach.
14. There are no adult skidmarks in my laundry hamper.
15. I can make my house a home without having to compromise my decorating style.
16. The kids and I can embrace our spirituality and practice un-self-consciously whenever we want.
17. I choose how the money is spent.
18. No snoring to keep me awake.
19. No nasty beard hairs in the sink.
20. Nobody ever leaves the toilet seat up.
21. We sing all the time with nobody getting annoyed.
22. I can fully focus on my children and myself, without throwing marriage into the mix.
23. I never feel guilty for spending my evenings on the computer.
24. I don’t have to share my closet or dresser.
25. The only clothes on my bedroom floor are mine.
26. Nobody leaves piles of catalogs or tools on the kitchen counter.
27. If the trash is full or the dishes are not washed, I have nobody to blame but myself.
28. Nobody cares that my pits and legs are hairy.
29. Everyone in my home is cherished and respected.
30. I can listen to whatever music suits my mood.
31. Nobody changes my seat and mirror positions in my car.
32. I’m not lonely anymore.
33. My kids have a happy mom.
34. I never have to listen to somebody else yell at my children.
35. I never feel guilty for not wanting to have sex.
36. I never have to watch another violent movie.
37. No in-laws.
38. I can have as many cats as I want.
39. Anytime the kids find an injured animal or bring home a stray, I can say “yes”.
40. I can laugh when dinner burns instead of being afraid.
41. I almost never feel fat, even though I am.
42. We can cultivate our own traditions without anyone mocking them.
43. I make all my own decisions. My life is my own.
44. My children have a happy dad who enjoys his time with them, instead of an angry dad who is perpetually burnt-out and either ignoring them or yelling at them.
45. Nobody second-guesses my decisions.
46. My children’s dad is now my friend instead of my foe.
47. My children will grow up to respect women.
48. I almost never have to clean out the passenger seat of my car.
49. I can change and grow as much as I want.
50. I never cry myself to sleep anymore.
51. There will never be any guns in my home.
52. I never have to say, “I wish I could ____, but my husband won’t let me/doesn’t like it.”
53. My kids are growing up in a happy home.
54. I am overflowing with self-respect, self-worth, independence, happiness, and love.
55. Why the hell was I married to a man anyway? I’m a lesbian!