Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Rules For Writers
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Don't use no double negatives.
12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out or mispeld something.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. The passive voice is to be ignored.
17. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
18. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
19. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
20. Eschew obfuscation.
--compiled from various similar uncredited lists online
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Don't use no double negatives.
12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out or mispeld something.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. The passive voice is to be ignored.
17. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
18. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
19. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
20. Eschew obfuscation.
--compiled from various similar uncredited lists online
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Suki Psyche and Student Surprises
Apparently the folks at the Toyota dealership were quite amused with Suki, who put on a show like none they'd ever seen before, compulsively flailing her wipers and flashing her lights like Herbie's hippie cousin on a bad acid trip. When they'd had enough of the show, they sedated her and gave her some good alternator health care. However, the young gofer dude assigned to retrieve her today must have missed her antics, because he was nearly incapable of locating the most conspicuous car on the lot. (Perhaps he was thrown off by the word "Camry" on her key, instead of "Freakmobile.") I experienced a bit of instant Karma for my insensitive cackling as I watched him search in vain for my car, because when he finally found it and brought it around and was mere steps from handing me the keys, I stepped beyond an invisible curb and instead of levitating (as my subconscious may have intended), I splatted quite dramatically just below his outstretched hand. However, I popped back up so quickly I think I may have bounced. I'm a bit sore now, but I have my Suki and my Suki has me, so all is right in the world.
On the student front, apparently I am now a full-time one. I had to add two more classes today after finding out that financial aid rules had changed. I figured it was in my best interest to learn HTML and Rock Music History and be able to, you know, pay the mortgage and all. I'm a bit overwhelmed thinking about how I'll juggle a full course load with everything else (homeschooling, my jobs, the single mom gig, volunteer work), but I'm stoked that the extra money from going full-time means I'll be able to get that laptop after all.
Life never fails to surprise me.
On the student front, apparently I am now a full-time one. I had to add two more classes today after finding out that financial aid rules had changed. I figured it was in my best interest to learn HTML and Rock Music History and be able to, you know, pay the mortgage and all. I'm a bit overwhelmed thinking about how I'll juggle a full course load with everything else (homeschooling, my jobs, the single mom gig, volunteer work), but I'm stoked that the extra money from going full-time means I'll be able to get that laptop after all.
Life never fails to surprise me.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Counting
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
--Einstein
.
--Einstein
.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Adventure in Bigfoot Country
I'm so glad the Bigfoot body was a scam. I don't want anybody to find one EVER. Stay shy, Bigfeet. I'm rootin' for ya.
-----------------
On my last day as a 32-year-old, my dear Suki (sweet little car o' mine) decided she simply couldn't carry us any farther than the 1200+ miles she'd come from Colorado, so she protested by randomly and violently waving her windshield wipers (despite the controls being in the off position), and then losing all forward momentum when I turned off the air conditioner. I let her idle and rest on the side of the road for a bit, in the hopes of raising her spirits a bit, but her tantrum wasn't over. When I coaxed her into going forward again, the windshield wipers flailed in proportion to the weight of my foot on the gas pedal, and she randomly flashed some display lights on her dash. I relented and turned the ignition off, and she lapsed into a coma from which none could wake her.
Thus, the kids and I spent several hours on the side of the road on Snoqualmie Pass, pictured above. It's beautiful, and looks idyllic from a distance, but the roar of the 70mph traffic mere feet away is still in my ears almost 24 hours later. I hauled all our Colorado possessions a hundred feet up the road into a minuscule pull off, where we set up camp. Our Van Gogh car sunshades, giant wicker picnic basket, and rainbow and Buddha canvas bags festooned the side of the rode and passersby gawked as we sweated in our insufficient shade. Once AAA towed the car away, we were on our own, and likely mystified more than one human hurtling through the mountains in their obedient hunks of steel and plastic. We passed the time with songs and silliness, stories and shade-seeking, furtive toileting and Bigfoot-watching. Leo is certain he saw branches mysteriously move as though someone were keeping an eye out for us.
We're now safely ensconced at my parents' house in Tacoma, sans car. Interestingly, the shop where Suki was towed lost power about the time she arrived, and in spite of being a major business (the Toyota dealership, in fact) in a metro area, word says that they won't get power back before Wednesday. Who'd'a thunk it? So, in the meantime, I'm sending healing vibes to Suki and preparing to bid farewell to the laptop who has been dreaming of coming back to Colorado with me. C'est la vie.
-----------------
On my last day as a 32-year-old, my dear Suki (sweet little car o' mine) decided she simply couldn't carry us any farther than the 1200+ miles she'd come from Colorado, so she protested by randomly and violently waving her windshield wipers (despite the controls being in the off position), and then losing all forward momentum when I turned off the air conditioner. I let her idle and rest on the side of the road for a bit, in the hopes of raising her spirits a bit, but her tantrum wasn't over. When I coaxed her into going forward again, the windshield wipers flailed in proportion to the weight of my foot on the gas pedal, and she randomly flashed some display lights on her dash.
Thus, the kids and I spent several hours on the side of the road on Snoqualmie Pass, pictured above. It's beautiful, and looks idyllic from a distance, but the roar of the 70mph traffic mere feet away is still in my ears almost 24 hours later. I hauled all our Colorado possessions a hundred feet up the road into a minuscule pull off, where we set up camp. Our Van Gogh car sunshades, giant wicker picnic basket, and rainbow and Buddha canvas bags festooned the side of the rode and passersby gawked as we sweated in our insufficient shade. Once AAA towed the car away, we were on our own, and likely mystified more than one human hurtling through the mountains in their obedient hunks of steel and plastic. We passed the time with songs and silliness, stories and shade-seeking, furtive toileting and Bigfoot-watching. Leo is certain he saw branches mysteriously move as though someone were keeping an eye out for us.
We're now safely ensconced at my parents' house in Tacoma, sans car. Interestingly, the shop where Suki was towed lost power about the time she arrived, and in spite of being a major business (the Toyota dealership, in fact) in a metro area, word says that they won't get power back before Wednesday. Who'd'a thunk it? So, in the meantime, I'm sending healing vibes to Suki and preparing to bid farewell to the laptop who has been dreaming of coming back to Colorado with me. C'est la vie.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Bigfoot Body Found
One of many news stories with pictures
A lot more articles about this
Basically, a couple of professional Bigfoot hunters found a carcass, stuck it in a freezer, and let a few select people take pictures of it. Now press releases are circulating worldwide announcing that DNA and photo evidence to be presented at a press conference this Friday in California. I’d link you to the original press release but www.searchingforbigfoot.com has exceeded its bandwidth. Apparently I’m not the only one trying to go there for the first time tonight.
The hunters say they saw several Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) walking near where they found the body, but at this point they refuse to reveal the location "to protect the creatures". Good for them! Stay strong Bigfoot dudes, fight the bad guys and protect the shy Bigfoot from the scientists! (Remember E.T.?) No, wait. These guys are Bigfoot hunters, not activists. They just aren’t telling where they found it, because they’re planning to capture a live Bigfoot now. Assholes. As much as I want Bigfoot to be real, I also want this one to be fake so that they can continue to live their secret, shy, natural existence without human interference.
Does anyone find it odd that this is popping up so close the Texas sighting and filming of the chupacabra, the the unidentifed creature that washed up near New York, and the Yeti hair that matched no known species?
There is a lot of mystery on this planet, in this universe. If this stuff turns out to be true, I think I’m going to have to believe in fairies.
A lot more articles about this
Basically, a couple of professional Bigfoot hunters found a carcass, stuck it in a freezer, and let a few select people take pictures of it. Now press releases are circulating worldwide announcing that DNA and photo evidence to be presented at a press conference this Friday in California. I’d link you to the original press release but www.searchingforbigfoot.com has exceeded its bandwidth. Apparently I’m not the only one trying to go there for the first time tonight.
The hunters say they saw several Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) walking near where they found the body, but at this point they refuse to reveal the location "to protect the creatures". Good for them! Stay strong Bigfoot dudes, fight the bad guys and protect the shy Bigfoot from the scientists! (Remember E.T.?) No, wait. These guys are Bigfoot hunters, not activists. They just aren’t telling where they found it, because they’re planning to capture a live Bigfoot now. Assholes. As much as I want Bigfoot to be real, I also want this one to be fake so that they can continue to live their secret, shy, natural existence without human interference.
Does anyone find it odd that this is popping up so close the Texas sighting and filming of the chupacabra, the the unidentifed creature that washed up near New York, and the Yeti hair that matched no known species?
There is a lot of mystery on this planet, in this universe. If this stuff turns out to be true, I think I’m going to have to believe in fairies.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)